


Of Cookies And Men

by Kiterie



Category: Naruto
Genre: Humor, M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-07
Updated: 2008-04-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 04:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/670318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiterie/pseuds/Kiterie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iruka never thought bringing cookies to work would end in bloodshed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Cookies And Men

Iruka had no idea that bringing cookies to work would result in bloodshed. He should have, since most shinobi are emotionally the equivallent of the kids he taught. But, honestly, he hadn't even considered what would happen if there simply weren't enough to go around. 

The rather packed mission room dropped a good ten degrees at the copy-nin's voice. "Don't touch my cookie." He hadn't raised his voice, but the warning tone had nearly everyone taking a step back. 

"I don't see your name on it, Senpai." Tenzou glowered, and for once the ghoul eyes creeped more than just Naruto out. 

"I've had my eye on that cookie for a long time." The lightest flicker of chakra danced across the man's finger tips. 

"If you didn't take the cookie when you had the chance, it's not my fault," the darker-haired nin countered. Neither noticed the light pink spreading across a certain scarred chunin's cheeks. 

"Maybe I was enjoying the anticipation of the cookie." Eyes flickered between the two men, whose eyes were locked, not on the cookie but each other. 

"Maybe..." The tone was condescending. "... you shouldn't have taken so long to let others know you 'wanted' the cookie." 

"Just because you couldn't see underneath the underneath, that I wanted the cookie, doesn't mean I didn't make it clear." The convoluted logic had everyone except the copy-nin blinking. Well... Shikamaru was rolling his eyes in that way he did when something was 'troublesome.' 

Tenzou blinked but quickly regained his composure. "If you didn't say you wanted the cookie, how is anyone supposed to know you want it?" 

"I looked at the cookie," Kakashi said matter of factly. 

Naruto reached a hand out to grab the cookie while the two men were busy having their little staring contest. And, just before his fingers could reach it, Sakura grabbed said hand in a crushing grip. 

"You don't want _that_ cookie," she whispered through clenched teeth. 

"Yes, I do." Naruto assured her, his eyes still locked on the chocolate chip goodiness resting on the plate, still warm from Iruka-sensei's oven. 

"It's a not a 'cookie', Naruto, it's a symbol." 

"A cymbal? Isn't that a musical instrument?" He seemed to stop and think about it for a moment.

"Naruto-baka," Sakura said, rubbing her forehead. "Symbol. It means the cookie stands for something else."

Naruto continued to stare at her, looking rather confused. "Like what? It's a cookie, Sakura-chan." The pink-hared girl didn't even bother to respond, she just hit him.

Sai watched the scene for a moment more before turning back to the the two jounin who were still arguing over the cookie. He let his eyes flicker between the two, but when they finally stopped, it wasn't on either; it was on a third man. 

The blond sauntered up, snatched the cookie, and popped it in his mouth as he watched his fellow jounin argue. His senbon bobbed as he chewed, but he couldn't quite figure out what the two were arguing about. "So, what, exactly, are you two fighting about?" 

This seemed to be exactly the wrong move as it drew two sets of eyes on him, then the plate, then him again. The expression on both men's faces darkened considerably. 

Confusion spread across Genma's face as he picked the last of the cookie from his teeth with his senbon. "What?"

There was a thud, and all three men turned to find an unconscious Iruka lying on the floor, his face a very dark shade of red.


End file.
